Final Decisions.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been going through the processes I would need to, to come back for another year and a half. I will return in February 2014 and plan to leave August 2015, so 18 months. I say 'plan to leave' because my manager has said it can be quite difficult as a senior volunteer because you're not entirely part of the group and everything will have changed, so I've agreed that I will definitely stay for 9 months so I'm here to help co-ordinate the annual change-over of volunteers (around July, August nearly all the volunteers leave to be replaced with new ones) and after that, she doesn't mind if I feel the need to leave before August 2015.

I've also been talking to her about where I'll work when I come back. I've been told I can work in the volunteer manager's office or in Stepping Stones-the house I've spent this year working in. After a lot of processing and debating I had decided to work in the office: I didn't think I could handle another year maybe more of working in Stepping Stones, it's one of (if not the) hardest houses to work in with the longest hours and the most challenging kids. Also working in the office would give me a whole new skill set and experience. I spoke about it with my manager and yet again she shot my little idea straight out of the sky! She had decided that (as long as I agreed) she wanted me working virtually everywhere. Ideally she would like me working some days in the office and some days in Stepping Stones as well as helping give training to volunteers. I think this is a wonderful idea as I've been having some discussions recently with my child-care worker and the kids social worker about what's going to happen when I leave. I'm currently the longest standing person to have worked in the house since it started, what with a change of CCWs and the fact that the other volunteer has moved onto night-shift. my CCW is very happy with the work I'm doing and has said that I'm not allowed to leave. She also wants to talk to my manager about having me full time in stepping stones when I return. The children's social worker is also frustrated I'm leaving, I was called to speak to her today and she said I have such a wonderful relationship with my kids and I've done so much in the house and changed so much she would also love to have me back in that house!

I realise this is a total self bragging post and I'm slightly ashamed of it, but I'm just so flipping proud of myself! I don't think I've put so much of myself into something before and I'm almost certain I've never done something so beneficial that didn't have me at the centre of it. My friend's mum said to me before I left, that my motto for the year HAS to be: "what can you do for me?". Sometimes I have to make the conscious effort to put myself first, to be utterly selfish. Otherwise, she said, I would go fully insane. But most of the time I think I get enough of a reward just from working in the house, I don't need to be so selfish. It's odd!