Taking a break from life.

I'm trying to sort my room out, throwing away clothes I don't/won't wear any more and taking pretty much everything off the walls. When I first got back it didn't feel like my room, not that the room had changed but that I had. I've out-grown my room! So I'm taking everything off the walls and shelves and making it more to suit me. But naturally, I've reached the point where I've pulled everything out of the drawers, spread it about a bit and now I've lost all momentum and I'm bored. I'm hoping if I type a post, by the time I've finished I'll have a bit more self will!

I've been seeing a few people every day, trying to keep the number per day as small as possible. I feel much better than I did on my first day back, but I frequently get bombarded with memories from the house or Home which floor me a bit sometimes if I'm not expecting them. I've found a lot of people seem to expect quite a lot from me very quickly. My next door neighbours sent a paper airplane over the hedge on Friday to ask if I would like to childmind for 3 hours the next day, so I sent one back saying yes please! But then when I was childminding for them another neighbour came round to tell me how dissapointed he was that he didn't have my number because he REALLY needed me to look after his 3 that day, and seeing as I wasn't working next week I would be spending the whole time childminding for them. I kindly told him I would give him my number as soon as I had one but that I don't think I'm free next week (all lies, I hope he doesn't read this!).

Another family I went to visit today wanted me to stay for an extra 2 or 3 hours so I could help with homework and piano practise and made sure they'd booked me for most of September. One one hand, I really like this family so I didn't mind so much, but I'm not sure I want to do child care work for this 6 months. I almost certainly will be because it's where all my connections are and it's what I know, but part of me just wants a break from kids. Mum suggested me selling my soul to a family though. A deal that the guaruntee me £5000 which is what I need to go back, and in return, I will be at their beck and call. I will babysit and childmind for them whenever they need it as well as cleaning, laundry etc. Hopefully they'll agree, because that would make me so happy!